This above all: to thine own self be true

Not really sure why it's taken 3 months to write the next Bestimate piece. Maybe The Moon has come into alignment with Dalston or there's been an increased density of cosmic rays in Hackney or something. I'd like to think it's because me and Dre have something in common and we just release incredible material really irregularly. Yeh that's prolly it.

Mate, did everyone see the most recent episode of Breaking Bad? Shit the bed man.

It certainly isn't because iPat and I have been up to our neck in Doves, it's a good job we're not a charity or anything because we'd have one heck of a lot of bad karma to make up for. That's on top of the fact I'm indirectly responsible for the death of two mice. To be fair they were trespassing in our bread, but I didn't know the cat would deal with them so swiftly and brutally. I'd never held a cat in such high regard until that day. Gustav, I may be allergic to you and I may not like you, but God do I respect you.

Mate, how good was the Olympics?

We have got a few mountain bikes in the pipeline for the full DD treatment though. Nope, not breast enlargements. I'm talking paint jobs, single speediness, skinny wheels and the lark. Mountain bikes aren't exactly our bread and butter but we did one the other day and it turned out alright innit.
And we sold a lovely Dawes tourer. And we've sold the Duke but someone hasn't picked her up yet. And I've got to rebuild a very special old bike for a very special young lady.
Shit, sorry for the dilapidation of of prose, I think it's coz I need the toilet and it's giving me a short attention span.

I'm gonna stop promising photos. It just never happens. I'll just photoshop one up of what I think iPat will look like in 10 years.

 I'm in the wrong business man, swear to God.

Bless. Xx

I was on the Central line, you were on the Bakerloo

To make a successful holiday trip, one must arrange a few elements. A destination is required, a length of stay, some pennies to spend and of course a more than dribbling desire to leave this piss-poor situation we call "British Summer".
Check, check, check and fackin' check.

Another basic necessity is the ability to book your flights on the dates you actually intend to go. Something that eluded me last Sunday, leading me to spend more on changing the flights than the flights cost originally. Sob story over? Sadly not.

It seems that when a car hire company sends you an email saying;
"You have £0.00 left to pay in the pick-up office"

What they actually mean is;
"You owe us £65 for petrol. Oh, and if you don't pay us a £500 deposit, it's actually mandatory to pay £35 for the super deluxe insurance"

So pay for the deluxe insurance I did and go way too fast over rocky tracks and reverse into a wall carelessly I did. Up yours Goldcar.

More pertinent news is that Patrick "Stop making up stupid nicknames for me or I'll push you under a train" McCarthy and I have finished 1 and nearly finished 2 more professionally painted, oh so smart, top bladdy notch, super duper, jolly handsome, Doves.
Mr James O'Riley of Greenwich is the proud owner of a British Racing Green Reynolds 12 Speed for a touring trip of the south of France this summer! The bike was a congratulatory present from his kind Father to mark the finishing of the GCSE's "that matter". Jolly well done to you mayne. When I finished my GCSE's, all I got were a group of seagulls eating the chips out of the vomit I'd produced on a caravan park in Newquay. Although I do recall being able to go out and party literally hours after that happened, so every cloud.
Photographs to follow. (Of the bike not, vomit)

I can however, show you a photo of a wonderful paint job we had done of the original Falcon Black Diamond! Remember that?
We've had it painted purple and it's smart as you like.

We're also nearing the end of another custom build which is gonna be a total stunner but I'll hold on until we've got proper photos of that all done because it's a bute.

The only thing left to say is COME ON ENGLAND!

 Beano. Xx

Kick in the Door, Wave in the Four Four

For Becky

Well it's pretty obvious what this post is all about isn't it?

www.DalstonDoves.co.uk is born of Galilee!

Like a religious icon from the now-hotly contested Palestine-Israel region, Dalston Doves has been thrust onto the bicycle scene like whales onto the Miocene. And the similarities don't end there... if Dalston Doves were indeed a genus of colossal marine mammals and not a 21st Century bike sales website, it would without question be the Biblicular equivalent of Jesus Christ the Redeemer himself! Correct, a marine mammal is indeed one of the parts of the holy trinity. Check the old testament yourself, you'll find it near the prophesy of Beelzebublé. And shit the bloody bed did that one come true. I've never seen evil like it.


On a serious note, Patrick "Between the Spreadsheets" McCarthy and I have some nice bikes for sale and some new ones in our greasy pipeline, just itching to slide out and announce themselves to you, the discerning global community. And while I'm on the subject of plugging and unplugging...


Check out my man C-Money's mucho increible garms at Bro! Clothing

Get loose with a dwarf and whatnot, Saturday 26th March at Ms Georgie Rogers' Cat Lovers night at the Queen of Hoxton


Hit 'em high with the big dawgs at Juicy this coming 12th of May in Islington


Get so deep and watch Mercury Fur starring Ciaran "Goddam" Owens, now showing in London's West End


Git yo' design on with big man Ash at Mrs Wilberforce

And if you're looking for an events company, talk to my sister Lucy Bear at Event Bears


That's it, if you want a nice bike, talk to me


Beano. Xx
 

Hotter than a Witch's Crotch

6 Weeks have gone by. I'm a little older, a little wiser and I'm starting to grow hair in some really weird places.
Well the last part isn't true luckily... BUT I am starting to grow herbs in some really well ventilated places.
No shit. At Stamford Works we've planted a herb garden complete with "Lemon Thyme", "Rosemary Barbecue" and "Jalapeño Peppers". I'm fully aware Jalapeño Peppers aren't a herb but on the other hand I also have my doubts on the legitimacy of "Rosemary Barbecue", so let's not get too picky or we might just not water them enough and let them die of neglect completely purposefully like we did the last lot.

But enough of my horti-fucking-culturalism, we've got Doves to parade.

Numero Uno is Carrera Quattro Comp. A magnificent Single Speed, this has both a Reynolds 531 frame and forks. A total beast of a city beater, it's strong, light and brutal.

The second up is the Raleigh Aerospace Contour. A fresh Single Speed conversion, this has NEW wheels, NEW cranks, NEW saddle, in fact NEW everything except the beautiful frame which has been freshened up for a NEW lease of life.

This unidentified frame is a bit of an enigma in that it's silver and that's pretty much all we know about it. We DO know it's made from good stuff as it has a Reynolds 453 sticker on it's frame but apart from that, one year ago it could have been tricking on the mean streets of South Central L.A for all we know.

Patrick "Prime Number" McCarthy and I both agree that our bottoms have never felt so good as when we sit on this here bike. Seriously, the saddle feels like it was made for a Queen. We called Buckingham Palace to ask for confirmation on the veracity of these bold claims we found ourselves making but they couldn't help us. They did said they could send round Pippa Middleton so we could test it on her apple-bum and wished us the best of British luck.

Continuing the Aristocratic tone, right here we have "The Duke". This little stunner is British made by a company called Santana (Doesn't sound very British does it?). Yep, you guessed it, it's Single Speed and coming to a fox hunt near you.

Our website will also be ready very soon. Dalstondoves.co.uk is about to be set free.

Beano. Xx

Dove Migration Season

If the Dove workshop was the UK economy, we'd have just gone through quantitative easing 2.0.

There are more Doves waiting to be released at my house than at a Michael Jackson funeral. But that's where the likeness ends. Thankfully.

Patrick "If your name's not on the MENSA list, you're not coming in" McCarthy and I have one Saturday to get all 8 ready before he goes swanning off to Les Alps. I'm starting to think these 'impromptu' holidays aren't impromptu at all. Remember A Single (Bike) Mother's Lament? I bladdy well do too.

Here they all are, in all their 'pre-clipped' triumphant glory...

First one is a Raleigh Town Bike 12 speed.

Next is a Raleigh 18 Speed Limited Edition.

 

A Carrera Single Speed Competition.

An Eddie Merckx Single Speed.

A Silver Reynolds 453 12 Speed.

Yeh yeh I know that's only 5 but one of them is at Pat's house, one hasn't been picked up yet because the seller is being a bit of a doucher and also our photo studio got dismantled by an angry New Yorker before the last one could get shot.

But to make up for that, our new posh-as-grapes website will be up in a few days. Yes! www.dalstondoves.co.uk is hastily being completed to meet a bladdy silly deadline Pat and I shook on whilst drunk last Saturday. A boozy promise is still a promise.

Beano. Xx.

She Hate Me

~ ~ ~

Today's post is in loving memory of the respective parts of Dom, Tash, Hadj and I that died last night when we watched the movie "She Hate Me".

~ ~ ~

One more Dove... SOLD!

That's right, common sense has prevailed once again and someone decided to buy a bike from us instead of putting a mouse in a dishwasher. When faced with this dilemma in your future, look no further for guidance than the fine example set by Monsieur Victor Gould. He has once again proved that animal abuse has no place in the life of today's modern man.

Here he is getting fitted out...

 And here is the now obligatory head-through-the-frame happiness shot...

With 3 more frames now in the workshop, Patrick "Not Another Nocturnal Emission" McCarthy and I have some work to do. And after having discovered this tumblr, that work just got considerably harder.

Having said that, here's another specimen which is on sale for £200 of Her Majesty's Pounds. But someone's already got bladdy dibs on it innit. Is it? It is.

So it's back to the workshop for me. If you liked this instalment of Bestimate, please feel free to send a piece of hate mail to Spike Lee regarding his cinematic abomination "She Hate Me". Alternatively, if you have access to a dune buggy, I'd well love to have a go on it.

Beano. Xx.

"No no, you go ahead, I think I'll just stay here and lick the cat's butt."

Last night my flatmates and I watched Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. Such an enjoyable 3 hour epic that it can turn any grown man into a quivering mess. Gandalf on the bridge gets me every time man. (Those of you who went to St. George's, do you remember we used to call Mr Jones, that awful I.T teacher, Gandalf? "YOU SHALL NOT PASS..... your I.T exams")

So the reason I've mentioned this, is as midday crawls by, all I can think of is "In the 3 hours I've been sitting here idly at work, I could have completely jammed out watching Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers."
Apart from the fact Tash and Dom would be a bit vexed that I went ahead and watched it without them, it also would be a bit lazy considering we've got Doves to unleash. That's right, new Doves.

Patrick " http://www.increasebrainpower.com/einsteins-riddle.html " McCarthy kindly volunteered last week to pick up a new Raleigh on Saturday morning in Cuffley. It was made apparent to me in a phone call on that Saturday morning that he regretted the decision. When I picked up the phone half asleep he said "You sound like I feel." He also made up his own "colloquial" term for Cuffley which retains most of it's original letters but sadly replaces a couple with others I couldn't possible write on a family blog such as this. Suffice to say, he didn't want to go to Cuffley.
But pick up the Raleigh he did, and sold it already we have. (Dom and I are also 5 6th's of the way through the Star Wars series incidentally)

The most observant of you may have noticed by now that there are no pictures yet, and that's because, as the even more observant ones of you will have noticed, the main reason I'm writing this entry is because I'm bored out of my sodding skull.
But get some pictures you shall. Here are pictures of a sample of 8 of my top 100 favourite things in the world. One is a red herring, see if you can guess which one.

1. Wayne's World.

2. Sophie Marceau.

3. San Francisco.

4. NWA.

5. Curly Wurly.

6. Breaking Bad.

7. Shooting Stars.

8. Michael Buble.

Have a totally awesome day.




Beano. Xx

3 Doves Unleashed

First of all, thanks to everyone who expressed themselves about the reclaimed scaffolding furniture. It's great to hear words of encouragement and style opinions alike. Even if they were in a ratio of about 1:99 respectively. Haha.
And congrats to Mr Auchincloss who noticed a little detail on the lounge coffee tables. Now I know how girls feel when they see people for the first time after a fresh haircut.
Also, cheers for the photomagraphs bruh.

But back to the nature at hand. Doves.

Patrick "P=Mc²" McCarthy and I have clipped the wings off 3 more doves! Things are really coming together, the parts we buy are actually the right size for the bikes now. The bikes themselves are in as much demand as Iranian nuclear physicists. And apart from a small set-back we had where Pat ordered a tool from Hong Kong over Chinese new year (considerable delay), we are cookin' with heat.

We've also picked up a real stunner of a new dove which we're in the process of stripping down for a complete overhaul. It's a 1980's Raleigh Aerospace Contour in Panasonic colours. It'll be a total bute. Watch out for a video on that process in the not so distant future.

ANYONE WANNA SEE SOME PHOTOGRAPHS?

So first up is the Free Spirit Cobra10GT. A truly wondrous machine, fully restored with new wheels, saddle, bar tape and full service you'd expect from the Bestimate boys.

 

 

Next up is a Dawes Horizon. This fine piece of engineering is British, hand built, has Reynolds 500 tubing, is light, fast, delightful and perhaps surprisingly has a lavender sort of aroma. As demonstrated by Pat below.

This, our first attempt at a hipster-mobile, was a Falcon Explorer 6 which has lost its clunky mud guards, rear pannier rack, half of its' over sized handlebars and now looks alright. It's Pat's favourite now, but don't tell his Coventry Eagle that.

And here's that nice Raleigh Frame I was harping on about earlier. I won't bore you any more. It is well nice though.

That'll just about do it for this time. I wanna give a big shout out to the lovely girl who bought our Raleigh Vintage City bike last week and said I was "a bit urban". Mad props Jessie, hold it down yeh.

Beano. Xx