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What about these football themed efforts... I've put their actual titles underneath for your convenience.

"Smashed It: The Official Autobiography of Richard Keys"
(Currently doesn't have one)

"Unlocking Your Potential: A Self-Help Book by Richard Keys"
(Definitely will never have one)

"Black And White: The Autobiography by Andy Gray"
(Currently "Gray Matters: The Autobiography by Andy Gray. I concede that one is pretty unbeatable)

"I'll Be Right Back: The Autobiography by Gary Neville"
(Currently "Red: The Autobiography by Gary Neville)

"A Drog's Life: My Autobiography by Didier Drogba"
Or
"You Can't Teach An Old Drog New Tricks: My Autobiography by Didier Drogba"
(Currently "Didier Drogba: My Autobiography by Didier Drogba")

"It's a Van's World: My Autobiography by Robin Van Persie"
(Currently Robin Van Persie - the Biography by Andy Lloyd-Williams)

"Christianity: My Autobiography by Christiano Ronaldo"
(Currently "Moments by Cristiano Ronaldo")

"He Shoots He Whores!: My Autobiography by Wayne Rooney"
(Currently "Wayne Rooney: The Way It Is: My Story by Wayne Rooney")

"The Arsene'd of Nowhere: My Autobiography by Arsene Wenger"
(Currently "Arsene Wenger - Pure Genius by Tom Oldfield")

"Live Giggs: My Autobiography by Ryan Giggs"
(Currently "Ryan Giggs: My Life, My Story by Ryan Giggs")

I receive a lot of fan mail and gifts but if you think of any good ones, send them in and I'll try and read as many as I can.

Autobiographies

If you, like me, have spent the last 17 months since my last post in total disarray because of the sheer inconsistency in celebrities' autobiography titles, you'll be pleased to know Bestimate is here to help.
So many people put their name to a book nowadays, and why shouldn't they? It's a great way look clever and to practice your signature over and over again. Something I had so much time to do in my Physics GCSE class.
But here's my point, if you're going to release a book, why not give it a good name?

Jo Brand has right idea... "Look Back in Hunger: The Autobiography by Jo Brand"
It's funny because 1. She's fat. And 2. It's a pun.
Another bloody good effort is... "Losing My Virginity: The Autobiography by Sir Richard Branson"
Again, very funny. 1. It's a pun. And 2. He's probably taken a lot of virgnities. No no, just kidding. I mean he probably has but it's a reference to his company name. Obvs.

Then you've got the rest... "What You See Is What You Get: My Autobiography by Alan Sugar"
What is Jesus' name are you thinking. If you're surname is Sugar why the hell settle for "What You See Is What You Get"?
This is what really gets my goat. If you're Alan Sugar, and you're writing an autobiography, have some fun with it. What about;

"No Thanks Darling, I'm Sweet Enough: My Autobiography by Alan Sugar"
1. It's a pun. But 2. Most importantly, he's obviously an arse-slapping old bigot.

So what I'm saying is, Bestimate, over the near future, will be helping these misguided celebrities and others come up with better book titles. And if you're thinking of writing an autobiography yourself, send in your name and we'll help you out too.