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What about these football themed efforts... I've put their actual titles underneath for your convenience.

"Smashed It: The Official Autobiography of Richard Keys"
(Currently doesn't have one)

"Unlocking Your Potential: A Self-Help Book by Richard Keys"
(Definitely will never have one)

"Black And White: The Autobiography by Andy Gray"
(Currently "Gray Matters: The Autobiography by Andy Gray. I concede that one is pretty unbeatable)

"I'll Be Right Back: The Autobiography by Gary Neville"
(Currently "Red: The Autobiography by Gary Neville)

"A Drog's Life: My Autobiography by Didier Drogba"
Or
"You Can't Teach An Old Drog New Tricks: My Autobiography by Didier Drogba"
(Currently "Didier Drogba: My Autobiography by Didier Drogba")

"It's a Van's World: My Autobiography by Robin Van Persie"
(Currently Robin Van Persie - the Biography by Andy Lloyd-Williams)

"Christianity: My Autobiography by Christiano Ronaldo"
(Currently "Moments by Cristiano Ronaldo")

"He Shoots He Whores!: My Autobiography by Wayne Rooney"
(Currently "Wayne Rooney: The Way It Is: My Story by Wayne Rooney")

"The Arsene'd of Nowhere: My Autobiography by Arsene Wenger"
(Currently "Arsene Wenger - Pure Genius by Tom Oldfield")

"Live Giggs: My Autobiography by Ryan Giggs"
(Currently "Ryan Giggs: My Life, My Story by Ryan Giggs")

I receive a lot of fan mail and gifts but if you think of any good ones, send them in and I'll try and read as many as I can.